I teach private music lessons to ages 5 through adult. The youngsters can be hilarious! I'm going to start writing down the stuff they say and will come back and update whenever a student comes up with a new gem.
A seven year old piano student stares intently at my forehead. I don't have much hair. Touching my head, she says, "Do you shave your hair from here on back?"
"Do you have any pets or girls?"
"I'm five and a half and I have a birthday in two weeks."
Arguing with a student.
Student – "That's not how it goes."
Me – "Yes, that's how it goes."
Student – "No it isn't"
Me – “Yes, it is."
We proceed back and forth like this for a while. Finally, I play my adult card. "I've been a professional musician for 40 years. I know what 'Pop Goes the Weasel' sounds like.
*Sounds of a father's laughter in the other room.*
Teaching piano finger numbers, I ask a new 5 year old student how she counts on her fingers. "However I want."
"My daddy's farts smell really bad."
I told an 8-year-old piano student that I didn't have Internet in the '80s when I was in high school. "You went to school in the Nineteens?" I am officially old.
A guitar student’s little brother drew this for me. He said he used the red to draw drops of blood.
I was so excited when a little guitar student announced that she had chips. I was wondering if I would get some free Doritos. I was a little disappointed to find that she meant "picks." She had picks. No Doritos for me.
A 10 year old guitar student told me today that she's going to a music camp in a couple weeks. She said at first she was worried that she would miss her mom, but then "I got over it."
Me to a young guitar student. "Do you remember what N.C. means?" "Nuclear Corruption?" "Um, it means 'no chord.'"
"Showering is a waste of soap."
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